Fighting to keep myself awake I write this review about a new phenomenon almost unique to Netflix: Slow TV. Designed to lull you into an almost dangerous level of relaxation with the endless footage of the boat moving gently through the fjords and narrated by a man I’m sure consists almost entirely of Werther’s Originals. It reminds me of children’s television in a way, especially the ones designed to teach them about the jobs people do. The impersonal but warm tone gives the impression that the world revolves around this boat; the people on the coast dressed in bunny outfits waving make me wonder if I’m asleep or not.
I don’t have much of an opinion on this piece, or in fact on Slow TV’s oeuvre in general, because it is impossible to hate something so bereft of drama or conflict. The fact that is named Slow TV makes it known that they known that they know as well. This is meditation; this is going on a holiday without the hassle of packing up your bags and braving the outside world. Why would you want to when you could just listen to an hour of Norwegian folk music and watch people celebrate the docking of the mighty Nordnorge?