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Dog Stories: How to survive life with your “bad” dog!

Dogs are a blessing. They are affectionate, sweet, and loving. They are therapeutic for anger management. They help children with special needs. They save the world as police dogs.

Let’s face it; dogs serve a million positive purposes.

Dogs can be smart, however some are not. Dogs can behave, although some won’t listen to a word you say.


Some dogs have gone to obedience school. Some have forever become stuck in teenager mode and they do everything they shouldn’t do.

Sometimes your dog will bring you your slippers and love you. Other times you will feel the dog is taunting you with crazy dog behavior.

If you own a man’s best friend that is becoming your worst friend, try these few simple tips to regain the Alpha position in your home.


Close doors and put up a blocker anywhere you don’t want your dog going to the bathroom:

At the end of the day when I come home from whatever activities kept me out past dark, I’m tired.

I can’t wait to just crawl into bed. I have a solid nighttime routine.

First I brush my teeth, then tie my hair up, go to the bathroom, and then I reflect happily on the day as I shut off the bathroom light.

Carefully I move my bedroom curtain (yeah, I only have a curtain for a door) and shuffle across my floor. Slowly I move the blankets to the side and crawl into the bed. Then one day “it” happened.

“Squish” I stepped completely into dog poop! It squished between my toes and absolutely grossed me out.

My initial reaction was yelling. I yelled alone in my room for about 30 seconds. I wished the walls could have let me know that I was about to step in poop.

The worst part was the realization that I couldn’t even be mad. It’s only a dog. They can’t be held accountable for being dogs.

So I changed my initial reaction of anger directed at my dog, newly named “Winnie the poop”, from pooping in my room, to the thought “You got me that time, girl.”

Slowly I washed my foot, cleaned up the poop, sprayed some air freshener and then started the whole nighttime routine over again.

Next time I will build a barrier.


Don’t leave cabinets open:

My other dog, Tank, decided one time that getting an entire bag of flour out from the cabinet would be a great game.

By accident the cabinet was left open a tiny bit. Tank managed to push his nose through the tiny crack, force the door open and grab the flour bag.

By the time I arrived home there was flour everywhere. The couches, the rugs and the kitchen floor looked as if the dogs were hosting a private pizza-making party.

I sighed and walked over to the vacuum thinking this will be a quick fix. No…no its wasn’t. After tearing open the bag, the dogs apparently decided to lick the flour on the floor.

The rug had hardened with wet flour on it. Still to this day we can feel a little crunch.

Next time I will double check cabinets.


Don’t leave food in any bag you don’t want torn open:

I was so excited to get my new flowered travel bag. It is the most adorable bag I have ever owned. It was given to me by my new boyfriend at the time.

One day I came home, opened the front door, and right in front of me were all of the contents of my new bag strewn up the steps.

Apparently these items must have been of no service to my dogs.

Finally I make it up the steps after picking up my shoes, pants, and money, and then I see it. My brand new bag is sitting there perfectly unharmed.

I pack all of the items back into the bag and realize it. The dogs had eaten the zipper part off. They then forced my bag open in order to get inside.

My new bag was broken. “Urgh…” Already annoyed that I have had my bag violated, I walked further into my living room and locate the reason for this doglike torture.

The Hershey bar that once lived in my bag has been torn open and there is brown chocolate across my white living room carpet.

I scrubbed the floor with the best product ever, Carbona 2 in 1 Pet Odor Cleaner, with the scrub brush, and managed to get the floor white again.

I have since fixed the zipper on my awesome flower bag .

Next time I will make sure no food is left in bags around the house.


Put away your dirty laundry:

The question of “Where are the missing socks?” does not need to be asked in our house. We already know that if a sock is missing then one of the four dogs is the culprit.

We have all adapted to this and we are OK with the dogs stealing the socks.

Then one day the dogs got smarter.

It was a slow progression from socks to undershirts. I noticed the armpits of stinkier shirts in the house were being chewed out. Then I started to notice yoga pants being eaten.

Then Victoria Secret underwear, boxers, and Dora the Explorer underwear started to take a hit. The dogs had decided that eating the crotches (hope no one is offended with the word crotch) out of the underwear.

Underwear started to become a survival item in my home.

Needless to say we now always put our dirty laundry in the baskets, or at least we are willingly risking our underwear!

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